MindTango #3: When Thinking Becomes a Way to Feel Safe

Aug 24

2 min read

We often assume that overthinking happens because we care too much about making the right decision.

But sometimes, there is something else underneath it:

We are trying to make uncertainty feel safe.

The problem is that thinking is very good at generating possibilities.

It is much less good at guaranteeing outcomes.

You can research the new job, talk to five people, make a spreadsheet, calculate the risks and still not know whether leaving will make you happier.

And this is what psychologists call intolerance of uncertainty becomes interesting.

People differ in how comfortable they are with not knowing what happens next. Research suggests that people who find uncertainty particularly difficult may seek more information or require more evidence before making decisions in ambiguous situations.

So the question isn't always:

"What else do I need to know?"

Sometimes it's:

"How much certainty am I asking for before I'm willing to move?"

That is a very different question.

A small experiment for this week

The next time you catch yourself going around the same decision, try writing down:

What do I actually need to know?

Not everything that could be useful.

Just what you genuinely need to make the next reasonable move.

Then set a stopping point.

Because there will almost always be another article to read, another opinion to ask for, another possibility to consider.

At some point, the skill isn't thinking better.

It's knowing when thinking has done enough.

And perhaps this is one of the less obvious parts of high performance:

You don't need to become comfortable with uncertainty. You need to become capable of moving while uncertainty is still there.

As Seneca wrote:

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”

Worth remembering the next time your mind starts writing ten different versions of the future.

Science Corner

Carleton, R. N. (2016). Into the unknown: A review and synthesis of contemporary models involving uncertainty. Journal of Anxiety Disorders.
Watkins, E. R. (2008). Constructive and unconstructive repetitive thought. Psychological Bulletin.